Guitar players spend half their time tuning their instrument and the other half playing out of tune.

Q: How many guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Twenty. One to change the bulb and nineteen to say, «Not bad, but I could’ve done better».

Drummers do it with sticks…

Bob is throwing a party. He decides that, to break the ice at his party, he’ll ask his guests what their I.Q. is–hopefully this will strike up an appropriate conversation from there.

The day of Bob’s party rolls around, and when the first guest knocks on the door, Bob asks the person what her I.Q. is.

«200,000» replies the first guest.

«Well, that’s great,» says Bob, «let’s talk about ethereal astro physics.»

Bob and this first guest talk about the aforementioned subject for a while.

Later in the party, someone else is at the door. «Hi my name is Bob; welcome to my party, what’s your I.Q.?»

The new guest responds with «250».

«Great,» says Bob. «Lets talk about advanced math.» Bob and his new guest talk about calculus and statistics for awhile.

Much later in the party, after many more guests had arrived and been spoken to by Bob, yet another guest arrives at the door. «Hi, my name’s Bob; welcome to my party, what’s your I.Q.?»

This time the guest replies after putting some thought into it «five».

«Well, that’s great,» says Bob, «what kind of drumsticks do you use?»

If thine enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.

A man walks into a shop. «You got one of them Marshall Hiwatt AC30 amplificatior thingies and a Gobson StratoBlaster geetar with a Fried Rose tremolo?»

«You’re a drummer, aren’t you?»

«Yeah. How’d you know?»

«This is a travel agency.»